Hello, everyone, and happy new year.

It has been several weeks since the last issue of this newsletter, so I would like to provide an update as to how my holiday season went.

It went very well, thank you.

If you have been following the program, you know that I have made some encouraging progress regarding my McDonald’s Pizza investigation. Specifically, I have established an intense personal bond with a kindred spirit who happens to work as a curator at the McDonald’s museum in San Bernardino, California. He has pledged to work with the shadowy owner of the museum to fund an expedition to retrieve the abandoned McDonald’s Pizza oven from the dump on the desolate island of Adak, Alaska.

I have no progress to share on that front, however, as I have not heard from this curator since our initial conversation. However, I plan to take him up on his offer to visit San Bernardino and observe some of the McDonald’s Pizza-related artifacts from his personal collection. I simply need to secure some kind of bullet-proof vest and “brush up” on my self-defense training, as Sen Bernardino is unfortunately quite a “high-crime” area.

In the meantime, I would like to inform anyone who is not already aware that I have released Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s?: Expedition to Alaska: Collector’s Edition. This is a groundbreaking package of audio programming related to my expedition to Alaska. It includes the original Expedition to Alaska itself, plus deleted scenes from my trip, a first-of-its-kind director’s commentary track, and more “bonus features”. I am particularly proud of the commentary track; not only because no one else has ever recorded a director’s commentary for an IJP (making this, I believe, a world record), but also because it contains an interesting tidbit of information from a “man on the street” whom I happened to question while recording the track on the Los Angeles subway system.

Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s?: Expedition to Alaska: Collector’s Edition is available for the low price of at least $5 on my Bandcamp page.

In other news, I received early word that this would be the case, and it has just been confirmed that the new Star Track series Star Track: Picard on CBS All Access features a touching tribute to my work in its fourth episode. The episode is entitled “Absolute Candor”, which is an obvious “tip of the hat” to my personal philosophy. We will know more when the episode airs, but I have been led to believe that this concept of “Absolute Candor” will have a major impact on the “lore” of the Star Track universe. I could not be more grateful or humbled.

Finally, I would like to point your attention to this touching ballad about McDonald’s Pizza from Canadian singer/songwriter B.A. Johnston. Please make sure you have a tissue handy before listening to his song “Best Day Ever”.